Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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