In the future we'll all be gay
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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