shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Every concussion has its silver lining
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
