You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
