you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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