I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Lo siento on account of my penis...
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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