It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize