sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
3pm strippers are depressing
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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