I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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