Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
