At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Randomize
