It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
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