I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
