so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
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