So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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