He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Randomize
