I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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