hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
