you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
