tell your sister to shave her snatch
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
