My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
