I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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