Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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