i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
