Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
