real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Every concussion has its silver lining
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
