ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
