the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
