We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
