so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
