We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Come see our sink grown plant.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
So much rum. So many feels.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Randomize
