I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
