windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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