Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
