I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
