You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize