i don't like sucking hair
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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