Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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