The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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