There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
