Already got asked if we're dating
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
