good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
