great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize