We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
