The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize