New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
