my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
fuck your aforementioned shoe
is wine microwaveable?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
