Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
