I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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