I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
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You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
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you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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