In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize