Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
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It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE