Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Drake has all the answers
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza