i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?