I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
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I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
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My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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