Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
