ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
