She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
whose ass print is on the piano?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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