scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
