i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
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