he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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