I accidentally burped into my bong.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize