I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
