in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
