I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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