Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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