I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
